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TAKE A PUNT - $500 INto $10,000... PERHAPS
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| A Bit Meh... |
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Since the inception of the humble internet forum, the real world has been privileged to a bevy of new jargon as virtual warriors sit idly behind their computer screens arguing the finer points of everything from poker to polka. Amongst this slew of new lexical sound bites possibly the most encapsulating and poignant has been the expression “meh.” Used to denote the nonchalant noise you make when you shrug your shoulders after a so, so result, this perfectly crafted lexeme is perfect for the way last Friday’s football betting went. After watching England scupper my dreams of a 3-1 victory by winning 4-0, I was somewhat boosted by the wins of Northern Ireland and Montenegro over Wales. After a total outlay of $100 my bankroll was poised at $435 but owing to my brace of successful bets I managed to collect back $254.17, sending my bankroll to the heady heights of $689.17 and my optimism into the stratosphere. So while the win was a decent one, it wasn’t as good as it could have been, hence the “meh” reaction.
So what’s next on the betting agenda I hear you cry from behind you desktops? Nothing. Only joking. As if I’d snatch the one vicarious guilty pleasure from your internet lives. With the Premiership back in action this Saturday I’m going to set out my stall early and invest almost $200 with the full expectation of winning a rather substantial wedge by the end of the weekend. This week I’m going to try putting all my eggs in one basket and have a betting bonanza on one game: West Ham vs. Chelsea. I’m predicting a healthy scoreline in favour of Chelsea for this game, which is why I’m heading to bet365.com and sticking $25 on the following three scorelines: 4-0 at 12/1, 4-1 at 16/1 and 5-0 at 25/1. I’m also going to lump $75 on a Chelsea halftime/ fulltime result at 4/5 on bet365.com. The $135 return for this bet isn’t significant but it should be a cert to generate me some income. With $39 left from my last win (I’m going to save the final 17 cents just so I can say I’m still in profit if it all goes wrong) I’m
going with my heart, as usual, and betting on Arsenal to beat Bolton at home. Bet365.com have the Gunners at 2/9 and while I think they will win I don’t think they will crush the opposition like the betting line might suggest. $39 on that will earn me another $47.67.
As always I’ll look to the heavens and pray for some luck and if at one of my scorelines can come in I’ll be in line for a decent bink. If not, then cest la vie.
Until next time, you stay classy world.
-Jake |
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| Fighting Back to Full Fitness |
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Cough, cough, sniff, sniff. Apologies to all my loyal readers (whoever you may be), your fearless gambler was temporarily struck down with a severe bout of flu and not just any flu, no, a paralysing illness that, had it been a lesser man, would have virtually wiped them out for good. Thankfully, I’ve recovered and now back to full health I’m able to report on my bankroll situation and play sage and predict the winners of various football matches this weekend. On the fighting front I made a temporary loss, mainly due to the fact that one of my bets wasn’t for UFC 118 but UFC 119: great! Oh well. Like I predicted, but didn’t stick my money on, James Toney was made to look a slow, cumbersome fool and was dispatched by Randy Couture within the first round. Next to hit the canvass was BJ and Kenny Florian who both lost unanimous decisions to their opponents. With no money banked I can only hope that Nogueira can save me some money and secure a win at the next event.
After my brief foray back into the world of online poker my bankroll currently stands at $535 and with some International games coming up this weekend it’s time to get serious with my betting. First I’m going to stick some funds on good old England to win 3-1 against Bulgaria. At 10/1 on bet365.com I’m happy to stick $25 on this and pray for a $250 win. Next to get my backing is Northern Ireland to win at 11/2. Another $25 on this should be good for a $162.50 return. Finally, my last bet is on Wales to lose to Montenegro at 5/6. $50 on this for a total return of $91.67.
Hopefully things can go well for me this weekend because I’ve had enough of feeling sick over the past week.
Till next time,
Ciao for now.
-Jake |
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Who is Jake Howard? A young twenty-something who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. Who spent his formative years shifting from one town to another, surviving on his wits and learning the way of the streets. OK, so maybe that’s not totally accurate. I was actually born in Cambridge and lived a normal childhood. I’ve just finished university and want to use my gambling nous to avoid the world of work for as long as I can. Simple.
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